


cancer ;; komahina

by berryoblivion



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Cancer, M/M, Sickness, nagito komaeda didnt deserve this, neither did hinata, they just wanted to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 19:12:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8459662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berryoblivion/pseuds/berryoblivion
Summary: komaeda left a journal filled with little notes about his journey. one chapter catches hinata's saddened eyes.// lmao this is rlly bad i apologize





	

**Author's Note:**

> to be honest!! this was just a drabble. no proofreading, just writing. idk why i'm even publishing this, haha,,

i remember when i was first told that i had 6 months to live. hinata was by my side, his body trembling as he asked the doctor if he was kidding.

of course, the doctor wasn't. i looked over at hinata and wiped the tears from his eyes, smiling warmly.

i could never tell him. never.

he was my best friend, and he would leave me if i told him. or i would leave him, whichever happened first.

he held me in a protective embrace and started to cry helplessly into my shoulder. i wasn't going to comfort him.

he was allowed to cry. and i knew it would embarrass him if i pointed out that 6 months was a long time.

i also remember christmas with him. he and i curled up by the fire, roasting chestnuts by the flames and watching sappy christmas movies.

i remember this one about a sick man who had fallen for his best friend, a women with striking green eyes and tan-ish skin. he ended up confessing his love for her, and a christmas miracle occurred.

he was cured the moment they kissed. i wanted to try it with hinata, and by the way he looked at me i knew that somewhere deep in his heart he wanted to as well, but we both knew that we couldn't grow too close.

i remember throwing up blood at hinata's birthday / new years party. that was when we broke the news to everyone.

sonia was crying and mikan offered to help. souda had always feared me, but at this moment, i think he actually sympathized for me. or pitied me. i couldn't tell because once i looked at him he ran away to comfort sonia.

hinata was staying strong. he just stood there, his chest high as he said that he had high hopes for my survival.

usually i would be happy that he was hopeful. now was not the case.

i remember seeing mikan's eyes. they were full of sorrow, like she was already grieving me. i just stared back, hollow cheeks and weak bones.

i decided to do chemo for a month. it made my hair fall out and i hated how weak and helpless i felt after it. i was going to die anyways, so why waste energy to try to live longer.

i don't want to live a longer life of pain. i don't want to have to wake up to hinata's soft cries. i don't want to be taken care of like i'm 80 anymore.

but i don't want to leave him. i believed, for a while, hinata and i were soul mates. we got along amazingly, and we clicked fast.

i thought after i met him, my luck would give up its relentless battle to take over my life.

i was fine for a year, but then hinata got hit by a car. he was fine, but i was still scared. i cried for four nights straight. losing him sounded terrible.

i can only imagine what it feels like for him. maybe hes secretly happy for me to be leaving. i am quite a pain, after all.

i remember expressing this to him. his warm, soothing voice wasn't as confident as it was five months ago, i thought. he just hugged me tightly and cried out a strained, "no."

that was one month ago.

today is my last day before they take me off life support. i have decided to write all my memories that i can invision clearly in a journal for everyone to see.

i hope hinata-kun sees this.

is you are reading this, please remember, i love you. whenever you feel a warmth around you when you are alone, that is me, comforting you.

i will try my hardest to see you again.

i love you.

•

hinata put down the journal and sighed. he couldn't... understand....

what did he do to deserve this?

he loved komaeda as well, he... just, why?

he ran over the last sentence again. there were tear stains all over the paper from earlier.

he hid his face in his hands. he felt depressed, abandoned.... alone.

a warmth spread from his fingers to his toes, reminding him he wasn't alone.


End file.
